13 Feb

I’ve been trying to make something happend for almost a year.  I am no closer to it being a reality then I was a year ago.   This has lead to lots of saddness and frustration.  It also lead to a huge weight gain and a very angry body.  In the last month I got some hard news to swollow it was not the end of the world but it put a damper in my step.  Since then I started to think about all the years I spent dating all the time I pined away for the wrong men and everyone said you have to love and get to know yourself before you can find someone who will love you and you can love the right way.  I am starting to think that the same may hold true for this new thing that I want.  I have to love myself again get past the anger I have for not being able to make this happen.  I need to find myself again a self that does not revolve around this one goal that I have no control over.  I need to get back into hobbies…health and fitness.  I need to work through my stress better and learn to make the best of other things in my life that too need to be worked on too.  Any way a friend of mine mentioned over the weekend something about writing a letter your 18 year old self.  

Dear Andrea~

Well first of all good work in making it this far.  I know what you have been through and you are a much tougher girl then you give yourself credit for.  Some people whould have given up and sunk even furthor into themselves than you have.  Okay well I am here to tell you things will get better.  The best part of your life is just about to start.  The friends that you are about to make at Western will be life long and will change you and your life forever.  Enjoy this time it is one of kind and you will look back on it fondly often.   There are a few pieces of advice I would offer…don’t take yourself so serioulsy have fun and don’t get bogged down, remember you are not naturally smart at some things and really need to work at them, keep you hair long it really suits you better shoulder length is the shortest you can pull off, hungry howies cheese bread is not your friend and for the love of god do not become a public history major you have always wanted to teach remember that dream and make it a reality it won’t be easy but it is so worth it!  If you don’t listen to me on the teaching thing I will say this to you when you get your masters don’t do library science and do teaching first.  As for boys I would love to tell you that dating and crushed get easier but they don’t and as much as you are going to hate all the crap you have to go through it is important that you do.  One day you will meet the right man for you and it will all make sense.  As for some of your other habits you really should listen to Mom and Dad about finances they know what they are talking about if you can’t pay it off the next month you really don’t need it.  As for the rest you are going to have a bumpy ride in life…things don’t come easy for you but the key is never to loose hope and to truly belive everything happend for a reason.  Your life will not end up the way you think it will…things will develop much later in life but you will have a lot of fun along the way so enjoy it and rember what I said before everything happens for a reason!  Good luck to you!  I know you will go far!


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